1, or 2, or 3 Liners

U

Universal Law

Left to themselves, things will always go from bad to worse. ~ Steen’s Law

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. ~ Scott Adams

Every time you come up with a great idea, you will find someone else has thought of it first. ~ Arney’s Law

* If you think big enough, you’ll never have to do it. ~ Reisner’s Law of Conceptual Inertia

In crises, most people will choose the worst possible course of action. ~ Rudin’s Law

There are more horses’ asses than there are horses. ~ Soderquist’s Paradox

If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. ~ Finagle’s First Law

Whenever an astronomical event takes place, a natural phenomenon obscures the event. ~ Spode’s Law

Auditors always reject any expense account with a bottom line divisible by five or ten. ~ O’Brien’s Principle

When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to have recourse to any other. ~ Mitchell Ulmann

* If an article is attractive, or useful, or inexpensive, they’ll stop making it tomorrow; if it’s all three, they stopped making it yesterday. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

* Is there a law which dictates that those who hold tickets for the centre seats in the row of a theatre always arrive last? (ig)

Kington’s Syndrome: the tendency to put a passport, visa and tickets in a safe place and then mislay the safe place. ~ Miles Kington

A flying particle will always seek the nearest eye. ~ Ken’s Law

Everything has an except in it. ~ Lynne’s Law