G

Garden

They now have a book on gardening called, Weeder’s Digest.

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There’s only one thing that will make your lawn look as nice as your neighbors – snow!

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Having a green thumb doesn’t always mean someone is a good gardener. He could be a lousy painter.

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Girl

By the time I found the girl of my dreams, I was already married.

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* There are two kinds of girls: the nice kind and the kind I get.

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There are really three kinds of girls: those you look away from, those you look up to, and those you look around.

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To most girls, men are not a problem but a solution.

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Golf

Golf is the most popular method of beating around the bush.

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He is a single handicap golfer for every hole.

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* I’m thinking of giving up golf. I can’t break 90 even when I cheat.

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* A golfer can walk 10 miles carrying his heavy golf clubs. But at home junior has to bring him the ashtray.

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There isn’t a good golf course in our town. They all have holes in them.

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* It’s not that I really cheat at golf. I play for my health and a low score makes me feel better.

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* A fair golfer is one who always quits after 18 holes or 90 strokes, whichever comes first.

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* Some golfers use carts instead of caddies because carts can’t count.

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* My favorite hole is the 18th. There’s nothing like seeing the clubhouse after 18 holes of golf.

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