F

Family

My child has sensitive ears. He screams every time I pull them.

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His monthly salary runs into three figures. His wife and two children.

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It’s a fine family. Mother has electricity in her hair and father has gas in his stomach.

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* I better go home now. I told my wife I was going out for a newspaper and that was last night.

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Food

What’s wrong with frozen food? I’ve been eating cold dinners for years.

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To get your money nowadays you should ask for doughnuts with small holes.

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I don’t eat eggs. I figure if the chicken doesn’t want them why should I?

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* There is only one thing bigger than her appetite. It’s her stomach!

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* I always eat dessert first, because life is so uncertain.

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I wish her food would taste as good as it looks.

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